1 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,640 Gary did a great job on this flyer. 2 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,604 I love how the "M's" in Hammond are like the roof of a house. 3 00:00:18,706 --> 00:00:20,478 Ah... So exciting. 4 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:24,135 Our first open house as Hammond Realty. 5 00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:26,818 Oh! Maybe we should have a quickie in the bonus room. 6 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,361 No, there's not enough time. 7 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,697 Maybe after. But in the rain shower. 8 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,657 - And at peace. - Hell, yeah. 9 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,103 Mmm... That looks so good. 10 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,714 A cookie? 11 00:00:37,753 --> 00:00:40,123 No, your fingers. I'm so hungry. 12 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,458 Is there no more Larry? 13 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:45,211 I finished him yesterday. My last taste of the "Master Race". 14 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,673 Unless Whole Foods decides to start selling Nazis. 15 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,550 God, can you imagine how expensive they'd be? 16 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:54,220 Although, would be nice to know my Nazis were sustainably raised. 17 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,805 Okay, well... 18 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,503 we'll find you someone to eat as soon as we close up here. 19 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,523 What about that lady who pretends not to notice 20 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,353 when her Great Dane shits on our sidewalk? 21 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,147 Helen? We can't kill her. 22 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,024 She fell down a well when she was a kid. 23 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:09,110 Oh, my God! That's "The little Helen who fell down the well'n 24 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,882 how she got down there, no one is tellin'"? 25 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:11,945 That's her. 26 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:12,988 Huh... 27 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:16,060 Honey, thank you for giving up the rest 28 00:01:16,094 --> 00:01:18,319 of your day to help me find someone. 29 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,038 I know you'd rather spend the afternoon 30 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,916 unraveling the mysteries of the Serbian Consulate. 31 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:24,793 You make me sound like one of the Hardy Boys. 32 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,587 I'm sorry. I don't mean to belittle your adventures. 33 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,146 Oh, I did it again, didn't I? 34 00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:32,003 It's just when I met that Mr. Poplovic guy at the Consulate, 35 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,094 he acted like he'd never heard of Pozica. 36 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,720 But I dug around online 37 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,973 and found a military research facility in Pozica. 38 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,643 And guess who used to run it? Poplovic. 39 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,020 Why did he lie? What's he hiding? 40 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,730 I would totally read this book. 41 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,274 I'mma call Tommy. Now that he's not a danger anymore, 42 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,718 I can see if there's anything in his Knights of Serbia files 43 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,112 that might be helpful. 44 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,489 You're such a good man. 45 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:58,118 Doing all this for me. I don't know how I'd live without you. 46 00:01:59,093 --> 00:02:00,120 Thanks, honey. 47 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,413 Really. I don't know how I'd live without you. 48 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:06,292 Have you thought any more about accepting my offer of immortality? 49 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,504 Act now, and I'll throw in a free set of steak knives. 50 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,339 I'm still thinking about it. 51 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,633 Wheels are turning, neurons are firing. 52 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,552 Hypotheticals are being explored. 53 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,637 I know what thinking is, sweetie. 54 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,888 I'm just not there yet. 55 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,723 Hello? 56 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,433 - Hi! - Hi! 57 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,644 Are we early? Are you open? 58 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,979 You're right on time. 59 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,730 I'm Sheila. This is Joel. 60 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,468 I'm Marc. This is Allison. 61 00:02:29,552 --> 00:02:31,304 Hi, Marc. Hi, Allison. 62 00:02:31,671 --> 00:02:35,071 This Mediterranean stunner just came on the market. 63 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,795 - May we give you a tour? - Hello? 64 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,658 May I come in? 65 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,577 - Of course. - Absolutely. 66 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,911 Joel, why don't you show 67 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,581 Marc and Allison the exquisite master suite? 68 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,000 Heated towel rack. That's all I'm gonna say. 69 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,627 I'm Trish. 70 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,880 You're Sheila Hammond, aren't you? 71 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,715 I am. Welcome. 72 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,633 May I give you a tour of the kitchen? 73 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,928 I'm actually just here for your divine guidance. 74 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,430 Oh, hell. 75 00:03:03,231 --> 00:03:05,597 Synced and corrected by reggielist www.addic7ed.com 76 00:03:08,223 --> 00:03:09,223 Hey. 77 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,397 Hey. 78 00:03:10,832 --> 00:03:12,908 I got your message. Your FBI interview is today? 79 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,527 Yeah. Leslie's having hers right now. 80 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,872 She'll text me when she's out and tell 81 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,497 me all the questions so I can prepare. 82 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,616 - Okay, let's talk about our alibi. - Okay. 83 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:23,194 So, the night of the fracking site explosion, we were right here... 84 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,787 playing Settlers of Catan. 85 00:03:25,816 --> 00:03:27,168 - No. - No, come on. 86 00:03:27,202 --> 00:03:29,509 It's easy to remember. I had dominion over three terrain hexes, 87 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,669 but you were rich in grain and had a port city. 88 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:32,753 No. 89 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,933 But land control simulation games are my comfort zone. 90 00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:36,973 At some point, they're gonna interview me too, 91 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:39,268 so our alibi needs to be something we can both remember, 92 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,263 and I would rather die in prison than learn the rules of this game. 93 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,371 All right. 94 00:03:43,441 --> 00:03:45,058 We were watching a movie, but... 95 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,644 it has to be on DVD because the FBI can't track that. 96 00:03:47,887 --> 00:03:50,772 - Great. - I have the Lord of the Rings trilogy, 97 00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:52,557 or the instructional DVD that came with 98 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,433 my Settlers of Catan expansion pack. 99 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,864 Jesus Christ. Okay, we were watching Lord of the Rings. 100 00:03:56,898 --> 00:03:59,754 Yes! So, you know during the prologue when Sauron forged the one ring? 101 00:03:59,788 --> 00:04:02,575 You put on a DVD and I fell asleep immediately. 102 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,059 That's our alibi. 103 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,537 Leslie just got out of her interview. 104 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,621 Mm-hmm.... 105 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:08,872 Oh, God. 106 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:12,100 Oh, God, she says the FBI found a footprint at the fracking site. 107 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,586 Okay, don't freak out. 108 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,910 We'll be okay. We threw out the shoes we wore that night. 109 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,392 Abby, they could still trace our footprint based on our shoe size. 110 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,900 Okay, so we wear shoes to our interviews 111 00:04:20,934 --> 00:04:22,628 that are bigger than what we really wear. 112 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,429 That's good. 113 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:25,723 That's good. I like that. 114 00:04:25,815 --> 00:04:28,017 Okay, I'll pick some up at Goodwill so they look used. 115 00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:29,852 - What size are you? - Eight and a half. 116 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,522 Huh. Okay. 117 00:04:33,282 --> 00:04:34,319 Why? What are you? 118 00:04:34,353 --> 00:04:35,808 Doesn't matter. I'll pick some up. Doesn't matter. 119 00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:36,956 Do we have the same size feet? 120 00:04:36,989 --> 00:04:38,010 I wish. 121 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,550 Your feet are bigger than mine. 122 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,044 - Why are we talking about this? - I'll drop it. 123 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,802 I better do it across the room, so it doesn't land on your toes. 124 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,994 What's that, baby feet? 125 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,412 I regret initiating this. 126 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,624 - Oh, God. Leslie again? - No... 127 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,294 It's Ramona. 128 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,841 Things have been kind of rough with me lately and... 129 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,632 I know from my church group how much you 130 00:05:01,665 --> 00:05:03,669 inspired Anne, and I thought to myself, 131 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,888 "Heck, I could use a little Godly insight." 132 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,433 But didn't Anne tell you that she was wrong about me? 133 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,101 I'm just a realator. 134 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:11,519 Yeah, she told us. 135 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:14,105 But, unlike the others, I still have my faith. 136 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,942 Trish, I wish I could help you, but I don't have any special powers. 137 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,620 I can wake up in the middle of the night and tell the time 138 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,364 within about 20 minutes of the actual time. But that's it. 139 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,490 Oh. 140 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,867 Well... 141 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,455 Maybe I shouldn't have come. Lots of people get divorced, right? 142 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,539 Fifty percent. 143 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,875 And not everyone gets along with their exes. 144 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,835 No. That's why they're exes. 145 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:39,630 Certainly, I'm not the only woman whose husband ridiculed her 146 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:43,384 and made her feel small and not very smart. 147 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,678 And... when she finally left him, 148 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,381 stole her cat and froze her bank accounts 149 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,840 and insisted that she come back because... 150 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,685 he is the only man who could love somebody like her... 151 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:56,272 and she's lost and lonely and... 152 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,733 starting to think maybe... 153 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,818 he's right. 154 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:06,115 Anyway, I'll figure it out. 155 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,451 It was really nice to meet you. 156 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,663 Hang on. 157 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,627 Listen to me. 158 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,881 Fuck that worthless fucking piece of fuck. 159 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,159 You deserve better and you're not going back to him 160 00:06:24,193 --> 00:06:26,409 unless it's to kick him in the balls so hard, 161 00:06:26,443 --> 00:06:27,964 they dangle out his nostrils. 162 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:29,721 Wow. 163 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,974 They don't talk like you in the Bible. 164 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,351 I'm okay with that. 165 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:36,604 Now you need someone to stay with you. Someone you trust. 166 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,022 Don't say me. 167 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,150 Uh, my coworker, Vicky. 168 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,236 Although, she can be very judgy. 169 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,279 Good. Call that bitch, Vicky. 170 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:49,325 By the way, what was the name of your ex-husband? 171 00:06:51,532 --> 00:06:53,075 She's one of Anne's church people. 172 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,907 I don't think we should be encouraging her by killing her ex-husband. 173 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,708 She'll never know it's me. 174 00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,628 And I Googled the guy, and he's perfect. 175 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,005 Bob Zekeman. 176 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,633 Three convictions for domestic violence. 177 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:10,179 A hit-and-run, and he totally destroyed that poor woman's self-esteem. 178 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,349 Plus, he looks so tasty. 179 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,059 Check out that neck. 180 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:16,309 Mm-hmm... 181 00:07:16,921 --> 00:07:18,668 What am I looking at? The Adam's apple? 182 00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:19,702 Ugh. No. 183 00:07:19,736 --> 00:07:21,913 The sternocleidomastoid muscles. 184 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,819 They're practically falling off the bone. 185 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,779 We really see people differently. 186 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,364 Ramona? 187 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:31,843 Hi, Sheila. 188 00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:33,371 Hi, Joel. 189 00:07:33,442 --> 00:07:34,860 Jesus! What are you doing here? 190 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,747 Looking for Mr. Ball Legs. 191 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,584 Sheila texted me he was sick, so I drove down from Seattle. 192 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,123 How'd you get in? 193 00:07:41,216 --> 00:07:44,088 The lock on your side door is broken... now. 194 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,547 So where is he? 195 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:51,345 I keep him in the closet under the stairs, because he freaks Joel out. 196 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,098 He's a mucous-covered peach pit with spindly legs. 197 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,392 And I'm more of a cat person. 198 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:58,436 Hey, buddy. 199 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,438 Look who's here. Please don't be dead. 200 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,736 He might not be able to see you, since he has no eyes. 201 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,655 What are you talking about? He's covered with eyes. 202 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,741 He just keeps them closed, except at night. 203 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:13,409 Oh, God. Get it out of here. 204 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,369 Hey, little guy. 205 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,329 I'm back. 206 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,416 You remember me! 207 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,920 Aww, that's so sweet. 208 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,880 Look how happy they are. 209 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,757 It's covered with eyes. 210 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,468 Please don't take him out. 211 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,553 Okay, people eat here. 212 00:08:36,335 --> 00:08:38,129 It's like that video when a soldier comes home 213 00:08:38,162 --> 00:08:39,809 and the Golden Retriever goes crazy. 214 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,188 Except the dog is covered with eyes. 215 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,023 You should never go scuba diving. 216 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:47,527 You'd make a lot of sea creatures feel shitty about themselves. 217 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,073 - Hi, Ramona. - Hey, Ramona. 218 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,699 Hi, Eric, Abby. 219 00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:56,010 Eric, I want to apologize for trying 220 00:08:56,044 --> 00:08:57,545 to kidnap you the last time I was here. 221 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,871 That was wrong of me. 222 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,582 - It happens. - I mean... Does it, though? 223 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,085 Sheila, so where is your Mr. Ball Legs? 224 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:07,171 Oh, I froze mine before it grew legs, so... 225 00:09:07,395 --> 00:09:08,521 I don't have one. 226 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,299 That's sad. 227 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,177 I love my little guy. 228 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:16,138 When we were separated, it was like a part of me was missing. 229 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,222 The ball part. 230 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,308 Really? 231 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,561 You feel a connection to yours? 232 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,814 Oh, yeah. You should thaw yours out and see. 233 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,942 - Hmm. Maybe I'm... - We're good. 234 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,318 We got Abby. 235 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,820 Great stuff. 236 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,614 And I also missed you, Eric. 237 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,992 Meow, meow, sexy panther purr. 238 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:37,909 Oh. 239 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,954 It's nice to see you too, Ramona. 240 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,872 Ruff, ruff, dog tail wag. 241 00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:48,395 Well, Sheila and I were in the middle of something important. 242 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:52,425 And even if we weren't, I'm done with whatever's happening here, so... 243 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:55,344 Thank you for taking care of Mr. Ball Legs. 244 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,265 I'm staying at the Golden Ridge Motel, Room 134. 245 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,891 If that's of any interest to anyone. 246 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,185 Cough, wink, Eric. 247 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,522 - Bye, Ramona. - Nice to see you. 248 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,275 And bye to you, Dr. Ball Legs. 249 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,069 It's a game we sometimes played. 250 00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:16,411 - Can I talk to you for a minute? - Hmm? Sure. 251 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,470 Please tell me you're not gonna have sex with your ex-kidnapper. 252 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,298 You have your FBI interview. Is that not enough danger for one day? 253 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,416 I know. I think I just got caught up with the idea 254 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,136 of being that guy who's had sex more than once. 255 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,387 But, I'll talk to her and let her know it's not happening. 256 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,980 She can be intense. Do you want backup? 257 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,299 No, no. I'll shut this down myself. You go shoe shopping. 258 00:10:33,895 --> 00:10:35,355 Sorry, that sounded really sexist. 259 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,095 You deal with the feds. I'll share my feelings with Ramona. 260 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:39,867 Are you sure you can handle her? 261 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:44,060 Can I handle girl stuff? No, but I really want to try. 262 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,564 I'm sorry you have to live in the freezer. 263 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,316 I wonder if he dreams. 264 00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:53,569 Could you please just not put him back next to the ice cream? 265 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,447 If you had a ball, we can thaw mine, and they could be friends. 266 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,033 Or they could mate and shoot out spores that destroy the world. 267 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,516 We don't know what these things do. 268 00:11:01,503 --> 00:11:04,080 I know becoming undead seems like an obvious choice, 269 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,206 but that's the thing. 270 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,084 For you, it wasn't a choice. For me, it is. 271 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,003 And once I make that decision, I can never go back. 272 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,714 Go back from feeling incredible every day, forever? 273 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:14,799 Now, you can't. 274 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,635 Every day with you is already incredible. 275 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:19,803 Aww... 276 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,514 I hate that that worked. 277 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,433 So, what do you think of Trish's ex? 278 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,436 Ugh. You're right. Bob Zekeman's a total asshole. 279 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,938 Can't believe he stole her cat. 280 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,564 Look how cute they are together. 281 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:32,336 Aww. 282 00:11:32,370 --> 00:11:35,027 They dressed up for Halloween. I'm hoping. 283 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,822 - So, are you in? - Yeah. 284 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:41,617 Now, how do we lure a raging misogynist to the kill room? 285 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,120 Maybe we tell him there's a woman in there 286 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,706 who's posting her opinions on the internet. 287 00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:52,670 - Oh hey, Lisa, now's not... - Anne left me. 288 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,088 - What? - She said something about 289 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,340 being in the middle of a spiritual reawakening 290 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,426 and needing to have time to reflect, or some bullshit. 291 00:11:58,459 --> 00:11:59,627 All I know is I got dumped. 292 00:12:00,479 --> 00:12:02,388 - Where's your liquor? - At 11 a.m.? 293 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,348 Why, does it move around during the day? 294 00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:12,857 I'm sorry, Lisa. It sounds like Anne is on her own path, 295 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,734 which is unrelated to anyone else. 296 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:16,320 I'm just so lonely. 297 00:12:16,354 --> 00:12:18,689 I mean, I thought we were great, and then she just leaves? 298 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,489 Why does this keep happening to me? 299 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,658 I'm hot. I would hit this. 300 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:26,328 You should talk to somebody else. Like a professional. 301 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,956 Ugh. I don't like therapists. They're never any fun. 302 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,542 What I need to find is a support group for first-time lesbians, 303 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:33,957 who have been abandoned by Christian law enforcement officers. 304 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:36,130 I don't know if they have any groups that specific. 305 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,097 Although, that is interesting, honey. 306 00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:41,578 A person with a specific issue might be lured to a place where 307 00:12:41,612 --> 00:12:44,212 they think there'll be other people with the same specific issues. 308 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,724 Mm, that is interesting. 309 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,018 It's not that interesting. 310 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,438 No, it is. Thanks, Lisa. Look how we helped each other. 311 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,689 How did I help you? 312 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,149 How did you help me? 313 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,526 The very fact that you're asking those questions, 314 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,069 is how I know you're gonna be okay. 315 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,988 - What? - There she is. 316 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,786 Now, when Bob Zekeman gets here, 317 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:10,539 you're going to have to say some pretty ugly things about women 318 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,042 to make him feel comfortable. Are you okay with that? 319 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,085 No. That's the right answer, right? 320 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,879 It wasn't a test, but you passed. 321 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,339 Maybe we should just hang back. 322 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,341 We didn't say racist things to the Nazis. 323 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,344 We just let them do the talking until you ripped out their throats. 324 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,514 Ah... Throats, mmm. I hope Bob's a smoker. 325 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,015 It tastes like barbecue. 326 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,600 Texas style. 327 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,530 - You're late. Everything okay? - Yeah, it's all good. 328 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:43,947 Put these on. 329 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,759 I mean, they're not exactly what I normally wear to school. 330 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:50,740 Right. They won't match size or style of the footprint the FBI found. 331 00:13:50,774 --> 00:13:52,651 - Plus, they were 45 cents at Goodwill. - Huh. 332 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,878 - So how did it go with Ramona? - Oh, great. 333 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,449 Yeah. I said, "Hey, I'm not into this" and she said, "It's all good." 334 00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:02,949 And now she's going back up to Seattle and she loves it up there. 335 00:14:02,982 --> 00:14:06,262 There's an awesome music scene. She told me about this one band. 336 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,097 God, what was the name? Snail Assassin? 337 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,308 Rocket Snail? Snail Babysitter? I might be wrong about the snail. 338 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,894 - You're lying. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 339 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,397 No, no. No. 340 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:19,483 You talk a lot when you lie, and you repeat words. 341 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,985 In this case, "snail" and "no." 342 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:25,197 Okay, Ramona didn't take my rejection very well. Fact, she rejected it. 343 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,445 She said she wants me and 344 00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:28,901 isn't gonna leave town until I agree to want her, too. 345 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,704 Man, why did you just lie to me? This is serious. 346 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,437 I don't know. I rely on you for so much. 347 00:14:33,471 --> 00:14:35,240 You're helping me out with this FBI stuff. 348 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,085 You keep me from freaking out at least three times a day. 349 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,629 I don't want this to be a one-sided friendship. 350 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,464 Oh, my God. Eric. 351 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,885 Do you have any idea how much I get from you? 352 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,723 I would literally be dead if you weren't in my life. 353 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,977 Really? You think you'd be dead? That's so sweet. 354 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,814 So what am I gonna do about Ramona? 355 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,151 We will figure it out. I promise. 356 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,446 But now, you go to your interview. 357 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,242 I feel like I'm going to school today, 358 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,369 but my feet are in court defending the Rosenbergs. 359 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,080 You'll be fine. Just don't talk too much. 360 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,399 You're wearing the shoes of an older, 361 00:15:16,432 --> 00:15:18,367 more confident man. Let them guide you. 362 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,834 I'll try. 363 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,546 And the band was Snail Glitter. 364 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,548 But they broke up to focus on other projects. 365 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,467 - And they weren't from Seattle. - Huh. 366 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,891 Is it too sparse? 367 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:37,061 What other dick horror supports an anti-woman aesthetic? 368 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,520 A "no girls allowed" sign? 369 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,273 - Feels like a kid's tree-house. - I hear it, too. 370 00:15:41,365 --> 00:15:42,564 Say what you will about the Nazis, 371 00:15:42,597 --> 00:15:44,985 at least they had agreed upon iconography. 372 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,028 Hello? 373 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,281 I'm Bob Zekeman. 374 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:50,908 - Hey! - Hi! 375 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:54,495 I got an email about a men's rights group. Am I in the right place? 376 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,414 Yep. You're in the men's rights place. 377 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,210 We meet in this storage unit because it's just outside 378 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,629 the restraining order zones of all our members. 379 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,924 Why is she here? I thought there'd be no girls allowed. 380 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,845 I'll tell you why I'm here. 381 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,681 I hate women. 382 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,101 With their higher voices and their neater handwriting. 383 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,853 Oh, I'm sorry, am I going on and on? Typical woman. 384 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189 Hate 'em. Won't you come in and sit? 385 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,694 What's with the plastic? 386 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,113 It's for the group after us. They're painters. 387 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,198 Yeah, they do a lot of splatter art. You'll see. 388 00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,533 Actually, no, you won't. 389 00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:35,711 What's your story, Bob? How have you been wronged by Dames? 390 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,287 Oh, Jesus. Where do I start? 391 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,957 Before everybody gets here, I'm just gonna close the door. 392 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,711 Because I'm cold, because I'm a typical woman. Bleh. 393 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,759 I'm really glad I'm here. 394 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,012 The world is so unsafe for men right now. 395 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,680 You have no idea. 396 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,433 You know, you can't even help a woman anymore. You know? 397 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,516 I constantly told my wife what she was doing wrong. 398 00:16:59,711 --> 00:17:01,228 Did she appreciate it? No. 399 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,273 And when things got heated, who do you think the cops believed? 400 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,483 Her. Her coworkers. 401 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,027 And one security camera. 402 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,612 I'll tell you, I had the last laugh. 403 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,782 I stole her stupid cat and I renamed it Puss Tard. 404 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,537 Whoa, boy. You are perfect. 405 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,913 Trish didn't think so. 406 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,291 You know women, they're never satisfied. 407 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,627 No matter how perfect you are, they always want more. 408 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,048 Is that how you feel? 409 00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:31,764 What? 410 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,344 Well, it's just that you do so much for me. 411 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:38,432 And now I'm asking for even more... To be with me forever. 412 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,602 Really? You want to do this now? 413 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,145 Yeah, lady. This is our time. 414 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,273 We'll get to you in a minute, Bob. I promise. 415 00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,658 It's not that I don't wanna be with you. 416 00:17:48,691 --> 00:17:50,702 It's about what I might become. 417 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,946 I worked hard to be a good husband and father. 418 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,373 What if all that goes out the window? 419 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:55,741 I know you. 420 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,576 That's not gonna happen. 421 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,703 But we can't really know that. 422 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,206 Plus, the stuff you have to eat? 423 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,291 Raw organs, smoked throat. 424 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,543 Can we acknowledge it's weird? 425 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,046 Women and their ridiculous diets. 426 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,507 Hey, sweetheart, it doesn't matter if you lose 10 pounds. 427 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,910 You're always gonna look over 30. 428 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,511 Wait your fucking turn, Bob. 429 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,429 So is that it? My world disgusts you? 430 00:18:19,507 --> 00:18:20,974 Honey, that is not what I meant. 431 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,935 I know you're grossed out by Mr. Ball Legs. 432 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,338 You've never been shy about that. 433 00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:28,357 I try not to take it personally, but it's hard sometimes. 434 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,360 Victim, victim, victim... 435 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,154 They always play the victim card. 436 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,574 No. You're right, Bob. You're the victim here. 437 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,451 I am. Thank you. 438 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:40,993 Goodbye, Bob. 439 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,267 Hi, Eric. 440 00:19:03,472 --> 00:19:05,885 Agent Rogers. Or Tess, if you prefer. 441 00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,549 I like the name Tess. Is that short for something? 442 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,232 What would it be short for? 443 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,193 I don't know. Tessa, Tessa Marie. 444 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,528 Contessa. 445 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,572 Contessa Marie. 446 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,240 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm good. 447 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,867 - Please, sit. - Okay. 448 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,945 Don't be nervous. I just have a few simple questions 449 00:19:22,979 --> 00:19:25,631 I'm asking everyone in the Environmental Club. Is that all right? 450 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,374 Fine by me. Mind if I put my feet up? 451 00:19:27,535 --> 00:19:28,995 Sure. It's not my house. 452 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:34,798 I like to be comfortable. 453 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,968 So, in the days leading up to the explosion, 454 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,738 did you hear anyone discussing plans 455 00:19:39,772 --> 00:19:41,930 - to destroy the fracking site? - No. 456 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,168 Are you aware of local groups or individuals who might been involved? 457 00:19:45,202 --> 00:19:46,207 No. 458 00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:47,878 Have you ever been to the fracking site? 459 00:19:47,991 --> 00:19:49,000 No. 460 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,692 So we have a footprint we've linked to the explosion. 461 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,737 - Really? What size? - What size? 462 00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:58,567 Oh. 463 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,658 I'm sorry, I wasn't being clear. It's not a shoeprint. 464 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,577 It's a chemical footprint. 465 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,663 Wow, okay. Yeah, that was not at all clear. 466 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,339 Chemical footprints are microscopic particles 467 00:20:10,373 --> 00:20:12,833 that are put in explosives, so they can be traced. 468 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,005 Well, that's a bit of science I did not know. 469 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,175 The material used at the fracking site was C4. 470 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,425 Specifically from a batch that went missing 471 00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:23,680 from the Sheriff's evidence locker... 472 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,391 from a case your stepfather Dan was working on. 473 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,065 Do you know anything about that missing C4, Eric? 474 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,192 No. 475 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,988 You're not aware of any C4 your stepfather had? 476 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,573 You never saw any? 477 00:20:43,249 --> 00:20:46,791 No, I never saw any C4. Dan never mentioned anything about C4. 478 00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:47,892 We weren't very close. 479 00:20:47,926 --> 00:20:50,365 Well, we were closein proximity because we lived together. 480 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,626 But some days I'd only C4 him dinner. 481 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,379 See him for dinner. 482 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,298 I'm sorry, I guess I am nervous. I didn't C4 you being... 483 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:04,930 Okay. I mean, foresee you being interested in Dan. God dammit. 484 00:21:05,660 --> 00:21:08,100 Let's talk about where you were the night of the explosion. 485 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:09,809 Okay. 486 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,109 Coming. 487 00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:21,238 Oh, you're not Eric. 488 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,571 Hi, Ramona. 489 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,118 I brought you some things for your drive back to Seattle. 490 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:28,996 A National Park pass. 491 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,082 An air freshener. 492 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,378 An Eagles CD that my dad should not be playing anymore. 493 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:40,882 Thanks, but I'm not leaving until Eric agrees to come with me. 494 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,304 I'm not letting you take Eric. 495 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:47,889 Just so we're clear, 496 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,476 is that another gift or are you threatening to kill me? 497 00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:53,491 I think you know. 498 00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:56,815 No, I don't. I'm not great with social cues. 499 00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:57,898 Seriously? 500 00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:00,110 Just seems kind of obvious. 501 00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,433 It's completely different from everything else I brought. 502 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:06,825 Now I feel like you're shaming me for not being great with social cues. 503 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,618 This is a threat. 504 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,082 Text Eric. Tell him you understand it's over, then leave town. 505 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,211 Or I will stab you through the head with this knife. 506 00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:23,549 Wow. 507 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,373 You must really be in love with him 508 00:22:25,407 --> 00:22:27,545 to come here and risk your life like this. 509 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,763 What? 510 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,850 No, it's... No. It's not... He's my friend. 511 00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,228 Oh, Abby. 512 00:22:37,211 --> 00:22:40,942 I might not be great at reading people, but even I can see this. 513 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:44,695 It's okay. 514 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,948 I won't take him. You win. 515 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,451 I'm not willing to die for Eric, and you are. 516 00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,192 You all right? 517 00:23:02,226 --> 00:23:03,226 Yeah. 518 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:06,635 I'll finish cleaning up, and I'll meet you at home. 519 00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:08,845 There's something I need to do. 520 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:32,077 Mochi! 521 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,496 You came home! 522 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:40,293 And you brought Bob's Rolex with you. 523 00:23:56,538 --> 00:23:57,538 Come in. 524 00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:01,773 You booked this room for the week. 525 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,233 My plans changed. 526 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,153 I don't care. You still have to pay the full amount. 527 00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:07,695 No, I don't. 528 00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:15,954 You're not leaving until I get my money. 529 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:19,541 Just so we're clear, that was a threat, right? 530 00:24:22,799 --> 00:24:23,799 Whoa! 531 00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:25,272 What the hell is that? 532 00:24:25,350 --> 00:24:26,413 He's my friend. 533 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:28,374 I let him out to stretch his various legs, 534 00:24:28,408 --> 00:24:30,210 because we have a long drive. 535 00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:33,263 You didn't pay the fucking pet deposit. 536 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:36,641 What's it doing? Get it off me! 537 00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:38,101 Oh, cool. 538 00:24:38,297 --> 00:24:39,923 Didn't know you could do that. 539 00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:45,983 Honey? 540 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,444 In the kitchen! 541 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,741 I returned Trish's cat and she looked so happy. 542 00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:55,869 I know I'm not divine in the way she thinks, but... 543 00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,288 it felt so good to help her. 544 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,792 What's going on? 545 00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,712 I still don't know if I want to be undead, 546 00:25:05,795 --> 00:25:08,465 but it is not because any part of you disgusts me. 547 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,008 I love you. All of you. 548 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:11,968 I don't want you to ever doubt that. 549 00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:15,805 Happy anniversary. 550 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,727 It's not our anniversary. 551 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,062 Sure, it is. 552 00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:24,773 It's been a month since you died and came back to me. 553 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,611 Oh, my God. What did you do? 554 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,034 My Mr. Ball Legs? 555 00:25:37,342 --> 00:25:39,168 - Joel! - I found Abby's old fishtank 556 00:25:39,202 --> 00:25:40,515 in the garage, put him in the sun, 557 00:25:40,548 --> 00:25:43,225 and a half hour later, he was all, "Where the ladies at?" 558 00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:45,418 Hey, little guy, it's Joel. 559 00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:47,212 - Daddy. - Joel. 560 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,756 Look how sweet he is. 561 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,564 Isn't it crazy how different he looks 562 00:25:51,597 --> 00:25:53,015 - from Ramona's? - Mm-hmm. 563 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,596 What am I looking at? 564 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,890 - So much more handsome. - Right. 565 00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:02,893 Thank you. 566 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,938 I love him, and you. 567 00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:13,502 It's Tommy. 568 00:26:13,536 --> 00:26:16,230 I left him a message about looking through his family files. 569 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:17,450 Hey, Tommy. 570 00:26:17,707 --> 00:26:20,579 Hi, Sebastian. I looked through some of that stuff. 571 00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:23,415 Did you say that Serbian guy's name was Poplovic? 572 00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,041 Yeah. Did you find something? 573 00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,501 Oh, man. 574 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,337 There's some crazy shit going on with him. 575 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:30,463 I knew it. 576 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,424 You guys gotta see this. 577 00:26:32,507 --> 00:26:34,134 Great. Can we come down tomorrow? 578 00:26:34,217 --> 00:26:35,677 Tomorrow would be perfect.